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That Thing Called iPod
04.27.05 (12:21 am)   [edit]
"Eh, what's that?" Evelyn said, pointing at my iPod. Evelyn sits at the cubicle on my left. She's cute, and naive and a nice person.

But she had caught me at the wrong time. I had just finished reading some maddox [url=]http://maddox.xmission.com[/url] , and I was feeling rather sarcastic and mean.

I told her that iPod is a device which allows me to remotely drive my car. "See the iPod click wheel? That controls the steering wheel..."

My lie had worked for approximately 0.7 seconds before she laughed and called on my bullshit.
 
And Thats 20 of My Greatest Hits
04.25.05 (12:53 am)   [edit]
15. Southern Sons - You Were There
I like everything about this song. I had heard it when I was in high school but have forgotten all about it until one day when I suddenly remember a portion of the lyrics - "Its like I'm in somebody else's dream. This could not be happening to me".
I should remember to sing this song the next time I visit the karaoke bar with my friends.

16. Better Than Ezra - At The Stars
"I've finally found that everybody loves to love you when you're far away..."

17. The Pretenders - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
"When your heart's on fire, you must realise, smoke gets in your eyes"

18. Toni Braxton - How Could An Angel Break My Heart
"How could an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard.
Maybe I wished our love apart.
How could an angel break my heart?"


19. Light House Family - Lost In Space
Love this song since the first time I heard it.
"How will I ever get to heaven, if I do?"

20. Martika - Love...Thy Will Be Done
"Love...thy will be done
Since I have found you my life has just begun
And I see all of your creations as one perfect complex
No one less beautiful or more special than the next
We are all blessed and so wise to accept
Thy will love be done"
 
"No more alcohol, I promise"
04.24.05 (9:42 pm)   [edit]
"No more alcohol". Those are the words that come out of my mouth after every drinking binge. But I'm serious this time. Not that the last FIVE times weren't serious, but this time I'm adamant.

FIVE times. That's the number of times I've gotten drunk my whole adult life. I don't know whats the right definition for drunk, but mine involves lots of puking and passing out, and bad hangovers.

FIVE times. I must stop while I can still count the the number of times I've gotten drunk, while the number is still finite.

And I still remember all of the occasions I've drown myself with that poison.

[u]Episode 1: Last Day of Internship, Final Year of Uni[/u]
Went to a karaoke bar in KL with colleagues to celebrate my last day. Started off with beer. Then some guy started to pour me Black Label with Pepsi. Got high, and I started to do the pouring instead. Got back home at 3am. Woke in the morning, and spent some 10 minutes in toilet, puking. Made promise not to drink again.

[u]Episode 2: Company Dinner, March 2003[/u]
Most embarrasing episode of the five. Company dinner with clients and directors. Was upset with my then girlfriend so stupidly went around toasting everyone at the table. Must have gulped down at least one bottle of wine, and then some. Puked and passed out at the restaurant, in front of my bosses and my clients. Ex-gf and colleagues took me home. Puked some more and dirtied the whole house. Promised ex-gf that I wouldn't take a drop of alcohol anymore. And by the next few days I had become notoriously famous in the company.

[u]Episode 3: All By Myself, March 2004[/u]
Was upset with my then gf again. Whiskey was calling out from the kitchen cabinet. Mixed whiskey with beer and stout...very potent. Puked and dirtied my room. Had to send my bedsheet and blanket to the laundry the next day. "Its a bit smelly" I said to the laundry lady. "I got drunk" I added, sheepishly smiling. She grimaced. I told her she should soke it before washing it...hahaha...Promised ex-gf, no more alcohol. Spent a bit of money buying her stuff so that she'd forgive me.

[u]Episode 4: Steven's Wedding, November 2004[/u]
Freeflow of booze. Damian was there too. Beer and stout and whiskey. And Damian immortalized the words "Beer and whiskey, very risky". While sending me home, the designated driver had to make several stops so I could get vomit. When we got back to the hotel, I puked some more and left quite a mess for the maid to clean up the next morning. A friend called up the next morning, saying that while I was drunk, Damian had gotten into a fight with one my friends. Alcohol is evil I tell you. Promised myself, "this is the last time".

[u]Episode 5: Two Nights Ago[/u]
1 part absolut vodka + 2 parts of pineapple juice and 2 parts of 7up, with lots of ice. Had three glasses. Went to bed at midnight, woke up at 3am to puke my stomach out. Went to bed after that only to come out 5 minutes later to puke again. Mom offered breakfast late that morning...I told her I had vomitted but lied about the reason. Blamed it on the cookies, and asked her to throw them away :p

So there you go, a lot of empty promises. And I get drunk for all the wrong reasons. Come to think about it, I've only gotten drunk once a year, averagely. That's bad enough though.

So how is it gonna be different this time?
I don't know.

Will I break my own promise again?
I honestly hope not.
 
Loneliness, your silent whisper
04.23.05 (6:24 am)   [edit]
I've just had two glasses of vodka with pineapple juice and 7up. And I'm feeling pretty light-headed now.

Mom & dad are out for a dinner appointment and I'm all alone in the house right now.

Last night I felt terribly lonely. This feeling of complete loneliness comes and goes, and when it comes, I feel paralysed and weak and depressed all at the same time. Nowhere to run and nothing I could do about it.

I went off to a local bookstore to see if there is anything that could get me reading again. Nothing. I noticed that there was another book inspired by one of Dan Brown's novel. Da Vinci Code may have been a good thriller, but I still think that Brown is a lousy author.

Nowhere to run and nothing to do.

Last night I called mom to tell her I'd be coming back today, if only for the weekend. Home is a three-hour drive back but it didn't matter. Long drives lets me clear off my mind. And I miss mom's homecook food as well.

Loneliness is a horrible feeling. You have so much to say, but you have nobody to say it to. You have so many things you want to do, but there is nobody to do it with. I once said to a friend that I didn't think there is anyone in this world for me. I am sometimes afraid that it could be true.

Time for a third glass of vodka. I want to get drunk tonight. I am beginning to appreciate the wonders of alcohol. I don't feel like writing anymore. Good night :)



 
I'm A Horrible Friend
04.21.05 (8:27 pm)   [edit]
Actual IM conversation with a nerd...well, a friend who's nerdier than me.

WC78: feels like i wana go home
ME: why
WC78: dono, low in moral
WC78: hehe
ME: you know what you need?
WC78: what
ME: a good shag
WC78: what is a shag
ME: you dont know what a shag is?
ME: you know about pointers and classes and objects
ME: but you dont know what a shag is?
WC78: yap
WC78: hehe
ME: okay
ME: would you like to know what a shag is?
WC78: ya
ME: do u know the show "Austin Powers?"
WC78: yap
ME: remember when our hero said to the heroine "Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?"
ME: what did you think he meant?
WC78: nope
WC78: can't remember
WC78: too long liao
WC78: but if u say its from austin powers
ME: ok
ME: you have any girl colleagues there?
WC78: then i know its not a good thing
ME: just whisper to thier ears
WC78:
ME: whisper "I need a good shag"
WC78: haha
WC78: right
WC78: whisper something austin says to girls
WC78: no way
ME: magical things shall happen to you
ME: oh come on
ME: be sporting about it
WC78: ya, like a slap on the face
ME: why would she do that to you?
WC78: :lol:
ME: shag is a crude term for sex
ME: okay?
WC78: oh ok
WC78: hehe
WC78: so i was right
WC78: i would get a slap on the face
WC78: :lol:
ME: what a clever boy
WC78: :lol:

I'm such a horrible friend...
 
Toner is a must!!!
04.21.05 (4:17 pm)   [edit]
I went to do a facial last Saturday. I know, its not manly or macho for a guy to do that...So I guess that makes me a little metrosexual...but who cares, right?

Anyways, I've was down with flu the whole week last week and I didn't really had the energy nor did I bother to properly wash my face. And thus by the weekend, my complexion had a rough feel to it...rougher than usual, that is...(I have acne pock marks :p )

So I went to a nearby Dermalogica center to get my facial done. And I have to admit I enjoyed every minute of it. They even threw in a free session because it was birthday, and also I got a mystery gift which turn out to be a very tiny vial of some moisterizeur cream. (Shit, how do you spell moisterizer anyway?)

Yeah, I enjoyed the facial very much, and more because the beautician who attended to me was very friendly and was very good at what she does. She explained everything that she put on my face - cleanser, moisterizer, toner, face oil, exfoliant, multivitamin masque, refining masque, hidrating masque, scrubs...

So apparently my skin was dehydrated. And there's a lot of blackheads on my nose. I really really hate blackheads. No matter how much you extract them out, they keep coming back. She explained that my skin lacks moisture and I should apply the hidrating masque every night to give the skin more moisture.

"Whats your normal regime?" she asked. I said cleanser and moisterizer(?). "No toner?" she asked, aghast. I told her I didn't know what a toner was for, and I got a lengthy explanation on the importance of a toner. "Toner is a MUST!" she said. "And sunblock too!"

Okaaaaay. So, instead of my normal nightly cleansing and moisturizing routine, I now have to spend another 10 minutes every night to hidrate my face with the [u]hidrating masque[/u] before I could go to sleep. And she also suggested that I apply the [u]refining masque[/u] on my nose every other night to shrink the pores which would in turn help with the blackheads. So thats an extra 10 minutes. [u]Exfoliant[/u] also would help, she said. Exfoliant is better than scrubs because with scrubs you wouldn't know how much pressure you apply on your face, and you might hurt your skin, she explained. And another 10 minutes to exfoliate.

I told her that would steal 30 minutes of my sleep. And I'm already deprived of sleep. Her colleague laughed.

So okay. In the end I enrolled in six sessions of facials which cost me a cool thousand bucks. But they threw in two free sessions because it was my birthday. How could I not love them? :)

And I also bought a big bottle of [u]toner[/u] (toner is a must!) and a small bottle [u]sunblock[/u] (168 bucks!) and an even smaller bottle of [u]face oil[/u] (I've forgotten what it does).

So all in all, I paid about 1400 bucks for all that. And they gave me two free Dermalogica towels. One blue, one pink...hehehe...but you'll never see me use a pink towel.

I'm looking forward to having my face caressed again tomorrow. Julianna the beautician sure knows how to work those hands of hers. Hmmm...I wonder...
 
Do I Ask Her Out? Should I?
04.20.05 (12:19 am)   [edit]
I want to ask a colleague, P out. She's a junior who joined the company last year, so that makes me about 3 years her senior. And we're currently based in the same project.

Now here's the deal.

1. Do I want to date a colleague again? My previous two girlfriends had been colleagues too. Ex No 1 had left the company, Ex No 2 is still around.

2. But technically, P is not my colleague.
That's because I have left the company. I am now employed as a freelancer only, not a permanent employee.

3. Does P know about my history?
P's previous project was with Ex No 2. I'm not sure if P knows about my history with Ex No 2 and if she does, what does she think about that?

4. Does it matter that P know?
So what if she knows? Would it make a difference? Would she shy away?

5. P is leaving the project at the end of the month. It would be harder to pursue her later.

Should I pursue or not?
 
Bohemian Rhapsody
04.19.05 (10:31 pm)   [edit]
I caught an episode of American Idol last week. I'm not a big fan of American Idol but I've been watching a few episodes here and there this season. And the only contestant that I know is Constantine, and he's the the reason that I'm watching Idol at all.

I mean this guy rocks. Last week he sang Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, albeit a very short version but that guy was good. And he did justice to that song. Even the cold-blooded Cowell agreed. "Astonishing" he said. And he wasn't being sarcastic about it.

Constantine's rendition of that song renewed my interest in Queen & Freddie Mercury. The first version of Bohemian Rhapsody that I heard was the hip-hop version from The Braids. Later I found out that Queen was the original performer. And later I managed to get a live duet by Axl Rose (of Guns N Roses) & Elton John. That song is so intriguing. A heartbreaking song about a youth who threw his future away because of a short moment of madness.

"Mama...life has just begun. And now I've gone and throw it all away". That song is magic.

And thus Bohemian Rhapsody deserves to be in The List.

14. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
 
Gloomy Monday
04.10.05 (4:47 pm)   [edit]
This week has started on bad note.

1. I'm not feeling well today. Down with flu. I must have caught it when I swam last chilly Saturday afternoon. This is like the 3rd or 4th time I had gotten sick this year. And its only April! I hate being sick... :(

2. I forgot to bring DesPod to work today. (DesPod is my iPod, also a very good friend). Why o why did I left it on the table??? :(

3. My insomnia has returned. Every now and then I would get this bout of insomnia and I don't know why. Have been an insomniac ever since I was a kid. I've been sleeping rather well the past month and all of a sudden, this. Drinking milk before bed doesn't help either. I just don't know what wrong with me :(

On a lighter note, its raining! I love this kind of weather when its all dark and cold. Reminds me very much of a place in the highlands I love.

I watched The Ring 2 on Saturday night and although the movie kinda disappointed me a little, it had its scary moments. But overall I think the plot was weak, and there's a lot of cliches and it was kinda predictable. I think it even stole some scenes from Dark Waters.

Anyhow, I enjoyed the presence of the movie-goers who were in the cinema that night. Every scary scene, every cheap scare would draw a scream by some random people in the crowd...and then followed by a laugher of relieved when the scene was over. It was so funny. There's one time during the climax, a girl who was sitting a seat away was half standing up and went like 'OMG OMG...' So funny!

And I, being the pansy that I am, must have watched at least half of the show with my eyes half closed. Haha...
 
Story of a loser
04.10.05 (4:17 pm)   [edit]
When I was in Penang, the hotel which I stayed at was just next to a shopping mall. The shopping mall is just 3 minutes walk away and I spent many nights there 'hunting' for dinner, as well as to do my groceries.

One night in the mall, when I was just lazily walkin' and checkin' things out and having no idea at all what to eat, I came across this shop selling sunglasses. And there I saw SC for the first time, and was bedazzled by her beauty. She's averaged height, fair smooth pinkish skin and has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Immediately I told myself, "God, I wanna date her". But I lack the guts to ask her out but I find myself going there night after night, walking past her little shop, stealing glances.

One of the things that I did when I was in Penang was that I took up SCUBA diving, and I took lessons at a nearby sports arena. Anyway, SCUBA lessons chapter 5 says that when you are underwater too long you might suffer from something called nitrogen narcossis. This is due to too much nitrogen accumulating in your body. Nitrogen narcossis affects a person kinda the same way alcohol does. It makes you feel high, and you have the tendency to act in an erratic and euphoric and well, drunk way.

So one Sunday morning, after diving, I went to the mall to get something to eat. Also to do my normal 'stalking' routine. But that day was different, and I now blame it to my having nitrogen narcossis because THAT day I had a sudden 'courage'. I stood in front of her shop on the pretense of checking out some shades. SC came out of her shop and gave a pleasant smile. My heart melted. She asked if I was looking to buy a pair. One thing led to another and I found myself forking out 250 bucks for a pair of spectacles I don't need.

She said I could collect my glasses in two days time. I paid a 100 bucks deposit, and before leaving with my heart pounding like mad, I asked her for her name.

"Excuse me?" she asked, surprised. "Whats your name?" I repeated. She hesitated, then smiled a shy smile, then told me her name. I smiled back sheepishly, probably said something like "Thanks" and left, happy with myself that I had at least known her name.

Two days later...

I had spent the next 48 hours plotting my next move. Damian gave some funny pickup lines which was so corny I think can only work on TV. When the day finally came, I went to her shop only to find that she had two helpers with her. That was soooo not in the script. And no more excessive nitrogen in my veins to give me that extra boost of courage. I left her shop another 150 bucks poorer, and with an extra pair of glasses I don't need. But I haven't accomplished my mission yet. I couldn't give up so easily, so on to plan B...

The receipt had her shop's phone number. So I went back to my car, took out my handphone and rang her number.

Me: "May I speak to SC please?"
SC: "Speaking..."
Me: "Hi, this is Me...I'm the one who just collected his glasses just now"
SC: "Okaaaay..."
Me: "Yeah, I was wondering if I could have your phone number?"
SC: *giggles*
Me: *stomach somersaulting*
SC: "Actually something's wrong with my phone, but you could call me at the shop"
Me: "Really, I can? You're okay with that? I won't be bothering and stuff?"
SC: "Yeah, sure."
Me: "Alright...thanks, bye"
SC: "Bye..."

Another two days later...

Damian had given me more corny pick up lines which just solidifies his goofy status.

So I've waited another 48 hours before making my next move, despite Damian's advice 'to strike while the iron is still hot'. Anyways, two days is enough time to be playin' cool right? I mean, not being too desperate?

So I rang her number again.

Me: "Hi, SC this is Me, I called a couple of days ago?"
SC: "Oh hi..."
Me: "Are you busy now? Can you talk?"
SC: "Not really..."
Me: "Oh okay...well, I'm just gonna take a minute..."
SC: "Okaaaay...."
Me: "Okay, the truth is, I would like to see you again. But I can't go to your shop and get myself another pair of glasses. I already have an extra one I don't need."
SC: *giggles*
Me: *prays that tongue does't get tied now*
Me: "So...I wondering if I could take your out for a drink sometime, maybe lunch or dinner. Would you be interested?"
SC: *giggles*
SC: "Errmmmm...not at the moment..."
Me: "Not at the moment? What does that mean?"
SC: "Errmmmm...I'm actually taken.*
Me: "Ohhhhhhh...okaaaaaaay...haha, ok, that's cool. Thanks anyway...bye"
SC: "Byee...*click*"

So, there you go, my loser story.

However, in retrospect, I don't really feel that I was a loser at all. Instead I think its funny because I had never done something like that before, I mean asking a girl out like that.

But after that I didn't do anymore stalking. I avoided her shop so that I won't bump into her. In fact I avoided that corner of the mall completely. I'd walk the other long way to get to the other shops.

But the funny thing was I still bumped into her, albeit only once. Out of nowhere she appeared, and we walked past each other, and we both smiled. She probably thought that was kinda funny too, that she had never had anyone walk up to her like that. Or maybe she was just laughing at me. Anyways, we said hi to each other and she flashed me that wonderful smile again.

I never saw her after that. But I do think about her every now and then. Like now. And I think I should write it down, although NOTHING actually happened. Its just something that puts a smile to my face.
 
Top 10 Songs
04.07.05 (5:03 pm)   [edit]
Inspired by High Fidelity, here are my top 10 songs, in no particular order:

1. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
"So if you have a minute why don't we go, talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"

2. Hoobastank - The Reason
Simple yet brilliant track
"I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be...a reason to start over new, and the reason is you."

3. The Eagles - New Kid In Town
"There's so many things you should have told her,
but night after night you're willing to hold her,
Just hold her, tears on your shoulder"

4. Tracy Chapman - Baby Can I Hold You
Credits to Tracy but I like Ronan's version better
"Baby if I told you the right words, at the right time, you'd be mine"

5. Don McLean - And I Love You So
"And you love me too, you thoughts are just for me..."

6. Elvis Costello - She
"May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die"

7. Gin Blossoms - Till I Hear It From You
"I didn't ask they shouldn't have told me, first I'd laugh but now its sinking fast whatever they've sold me, maybe I don't wanna take advice from fools, I figure everything is cool till I hear it from you"

8. The Beatles - The Long & Winding Road
"The long and winding road that leads to your heart. Will never disappear, I've seen that road before."

9. Jason Mraz - You and I Both
"See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive"

10. Bob Dylan - You Belong To Me
Writing credits to Dylan but no one can beat Jason Wade's heartfelt version"
"See the pyramids along the Nile,
Watch the sunrise on the tropic isle,
Just remember darling all the while,
You belong to me."

11. Dana Glover - It Is You (I Have Loved)
Love theme of Shrek...beautiful song, great rendition
"Over and over I'm filled with emotion
Your love, it rushes through my veins
And I am filled With the sweetest devotion
As I, I look into your perfect face"

12. Guns N Roses - November Rain
"And when your fear subsides and shadows still remain.
I know that you can love me when there's no one's left to blame.
So nevermind the darkness we still can find the way
Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain"

13. Eric Carmen - All By Myself
"All by myself, don't wanna be all by myself...ANYMORRRREEEE...."

Okay...top 13 then.


 
Sucker for Quizzes
04.06.05 (6:40 pm)   [edit]
Your dating personality profile:

Traditional - Modern culture does not move you. You hold traditional values dear to your heart.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Your date match profile:

Traditional - You need someone who is a bit old-fashioned. A person with traditional values and beliefs will perfectly compliment your lifestyle.
Sensual - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Traditional
2. Stylish
3. Athletic
4. Big-Hearted
5. Liberal
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Adventurous
8. Sensual
9. Romantic
10. Shy
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Traditional
2. Sensual
3. Conservative
4. Big-Hearted
5. Athletic
6. Intellectual
7. Stylish
8. Practical
9. Adventurous
10. Shy

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
 
Liar liar
04.05.05 (7:34 pm)   [edit]

First and foremost, before I begin, I just wanna say that I am NOT a racist but what I'm about to write has a little Indian flavor to it.


I work in the IT consulting line, and my job involves jumping from one client to another where I learn about their old legacy system and 'try' to implement a better system for them. My previous project was with a beverage company, CB. It was kind of a difficult project due to the fact that the whole project was overscoped(too many things to do in too little time) but fortunately for me I was only there for a month to help out another colleague before leaving for my current project. So I wasn't entirely surprised to hear that my colleague wants to quit halfway thru the project.


Needless to say, the company was furious. How are they gonna find someone to replace him now that the project is at its crucial moment?! The company director even threatened to blacklist my colleague - that he won't be able to get a job anywhere if he leaves. My colleague was adamant, but agrees to stay for an extra month, so that the company could send a replacement to take over. So the company sends someone over to take over. An 'experienced' consultant from India. Fine. Problem solved? Not quite.


I was browing through a forum on the internet yesterday. This forum is basically a medium for people in my line of work to discuss technical matters. And also for people to get tech support. Anyways, I was randomly reading through some of the discussions when I came across an interesting question posed by someone by the name K. Interesting to me because the question was not only very fundamental, it was also irrelevant, if not nonsensical. And K also confessed he knows shit.


But more interesting was that the question asked specifically refers to a system very similar to the one company CB is using. Its highly improbable that another company would be using the same system since the system was a fully customised one, so something smells very fishy here. I later found out that K is the replacement consultant from India. The one who's supposed to replace my colleague in that highly challenging and difficult project. And he knows shit.


Now, India is a country with plenty of excellent IT human resources. Every year India exports and outsources thousands of programmers and consultants and IT engineers to work in all over the world, including Malaysia. I've worked with two; one is very good, the other one average. But my friends and peers have horror stories to tell. Mostly stories on how incredible and impressive the resume that these Indian consultants have but they actually know shit. One even didn't know how to plug in the network cable to his laptop. And some screw up the system so bad their employers actually black list all employees from India. They lie their way around work until they get caught, and then gets sent home. The better ones will actually try to get help by reading help files or reading forums like Mr K here. As one friend put it "The good ones will go to US or UK to work coz they can get better pay there. The bad ones will come to Malaysia."


I know the situation is bad in their country. I know they are desperate to earn a living and to earn a good salary but please, please don't earn a living by lying and cheating your way around. I wonder if they think us Malaysians are a stewpid lot. That they could just come here with their doctored resume and just take on any jobs. That we Malaysians are too stewpid to notice that they're just plain cheats.


I need to reiterate that I'm not a racist. Heck, my best friend's an Indian(Malaysian). For those cheats, you must know that you're tarnishing the image of your country. This is NO way to earn a living. Get your act together.